Last post I spoke about power briefly because I can go deeper into the topic of course,but this post I will talk about the addiction that most people talk about without paying attention that they’re addicted at all; the addiction to sex.
Now for many of my readers who are Zane fans like myself their minds may immediately go to her novel “Addicted” or the steamy stories from “The Sex Chronicles”. For those who aren’t, they may or may not have any idea how bad it can really get. So for those readers I will break it down for you giving you a full vision of what it looks like:
Imagine not being able to take a breath without the thought, without your body calling for another fix. Waking out of bed and reaching for your mate only to leave them and head to the shower after hours of love making with your toy in hand to start the process all over again. Only to find that even that’s not enough. So you take your more discrete friend to work with you adjusting yourself while driving to get a quick fix while your on the way. Only to get to work and have to head straight for the bathroom to handle the next much needed release. Leaving the bathroom to head to work you catch a glimpse of something you just can’t say no to, so you both make an excuse and head to the nearest place you can be alone to get you real fix, because toys just don’t cut. Then you sit down to work with another toy in full motion knowing good and well that you can’t function throughout the day without your hourly fix just like those who need a cigarette or coffee. Your day ends and you leave the building but not before trying that new thing that got hired in that day. You head home in the same fashion you left only to find that your mate will be home late, and you can’t wait. So you go out on a prowl looking for a little fun and end up getting a piece of the random ups driver that just so happens to show up right on time. This continues until your mate walks in to find you still getting pleased and still needing more.
For some it’s not sex in its entirely but good sex, great sex with a certain person or people.I spoke about this before, the ‘love’that fuels someone to submit because the sex is too good to walk away from. They can’t or don’t leave and if and when they do it’s only after finding someone who can curb that sexual desire at the same level or higher than the one they left.
This is addict behavior and I know many especially my women will say…”But girl how and who can survive without good; make that great sex.” And all I can say to that is… What has it gotten you so far?
I’m a woman after all and I get it, we all have needs right. But as a woman I also know what a guy with good sex and bad intentions can cause. I know what its like to be stuck on a man with great sex skills and no goals for us or respect for me. I know what it’s like to like the sex in the moment and hate myself when it’s over. And for the record I’m not speaking of all men but those guys who know they’re not right. Those guys who wouldn’t want a guy like them to date their daughters. Those guys who use being a man as an excuse to be unfaithful, physically and or mentally abusive. Those who make excuses not to be fathers to their children and providers to their families ( all of which I will go into deeper at a later time) Those who are toxic to all they touch. These are examples of guys who most of the time have great addicting sex.( I’m not saying that good men can’t have great sex but when he’s a good man with great sex he’s not an addiction he’s usually known as the complete package.)All of those who are laying next to a guy they know isn’t doing right by them; but cant bring themselves to walk away do to sex or ‘love’ you know what I mean.
But this goes both ways and sad to say, but there’s women out here who are just as bad if not worse than the guys when it comes to this. And for all those who say men made them that way… You can’t become what isn’t deep down somewhere within you. There are other women who’ve been hurt worse and didn’t turn into scheming, manipulative users to ease their pain… But the truth is hurt people, hurt people.
The point is sex doesn’t equal love and for many sex addicts it actually interferes with love. It becomes the only thing that matters;removing all logic when dealing with situations placing them and others in danger. Now a days good sex; gets people killed. After all do you really think obsessive behavior is a sign of love…
There’s been too many women and men that have been killed or murdered over sex or ‘love’. Women who sleep with married men because his sex is just too good, then get confused when he doesn’t want to settle down with them. Or men who sleep with women who are involved with the same expectation forgetting there’s always someone else involved. Or those relationships that end only on one side while the other walks around with the thought that they belong to them and no one else; then flip out when they see them move on. What are they obsessed over if its’ not sex? Love doesn’t do that. If it isn’t working let it go, sex and all.
Great sex isn’t the only way to say I love you. Giving yourself up to whoever asks or shows interest isn’t love not for them or yourself. You can’t love anyone if you can’t start with yourself. If you have to have sex to feel complete in a relationship, is it really something worth holding onto? If that’s a requirement for a relationship is it really a relationship? And in those situations if and when you can’t or won’t give it up where do they go to get their fix?
Sex is not a necessity, it’s a bonus and if you can’t go without it; you’re addicted. We have grown to accustomed to everything being normal, not being able to stop is not normal.
Sex is serious, not just because of the emotion but because when you connect physically you also connect spiritually. This is why sex is better when you’re in love or at least one person involved is in love, the connection is stronger. Do you really want to keep connecting yourself with a spirit you can’t run from? Choose your mates carefully.
For many this addiction helps them to feed another addiction that looks like necessity.They use sex to get to their addiction or love of money. But I’ll save this topic for next week.
Until next time…